Dear Rubansh,
Eight years ago, you made me a father that too on a children’s day of Nepal, and from that day my life has never been the same. Nobody gives you a guidebook on how to be a dad, you just figure it out with every laugh, every mistake, and every hug. And you, my son, have been my best teacher.
There are things that irritate me sometimes ngl. You already know which one, homework. Just hearing that word makes me tired 😂. I even did not do it as a student, and how am I supposed to do it all over again with you. Maths, spelling, science projects, it’s not my favourite. But even when I complain, I know these moments with you will not come again, and one day I’ll miss them.
What feels good? Those random kisses. The good morning kiss when I’m still half asleep or the good night kiss sometime after a long day. Sometimes, you walk up to me for no reason at all and just kiss my cheek. And in that moment, everything feels right, anger disappears, stress vanishes, and my heart feels light again.
Then there are hugs. Do you know how much they mean to me? Especially the ones when I’m working from home. Every day when you come back from school, you rush to me and give me that tight hug. That hug, Rubansh, is one of the most special things in my life. It makes WFH more special than anything else.
Of course, there are things I don’t enjoy too. The mess you leave around, toys, crumbs, drawings on walls that were never meant to be a canvas. Sometimes it makes me mad, but deep inside I know I’ll miss even this chaos when the house becomes too quiet.
What I truly enjoy are our nonsense yet sense talks. When electricity cuts and we both are free from our respective screens 😂 you just show up to my work station and the curiosity you show to the things around, the details and you start making things up sometime, and I still listen with full energy because when you are in my lap I feel the warmth only. The silly questions you ask that somehow lead to the best conversations. That, my son, is my favourite part of being your dad. and sometimes you surprise with the knowledge you have and I keep wondering how did you know these things in particular, that is just above your age.
Fatherhood is not just a role I play, it’s something I live every single day with you. It’s tiring, funny, messy, sometimes frustrating, but mostly magical. And today, on your 8th birthday, I just want to say thank you, for teaching me how to be a father, for giving me hugs that melt my heart, and for filling my life with laughter.
Happy Birthday, Rubansh. May you always smile, always question, always dream, and always keep giving those surprise hugs and kisses that make my life worth living.
With all my love,
Dad
